you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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