Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
