I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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