your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
