my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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