Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
