Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's blow job season.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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