yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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