She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
