btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
