i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
