i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
birth control should be required to get into college
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
