Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
