I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
