Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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