do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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