So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
