i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
