I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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