i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
