if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
