APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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