Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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