i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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