that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
