my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
