There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
