note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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