Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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