How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
