you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
