I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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