I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
