someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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