I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
vagina is talking i cant
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
