i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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