Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
