I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
