I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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