I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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