You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
