It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
