A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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