So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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