so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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