I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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