Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
