Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
