Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
