I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
