After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
